Posts Tagged ‘Choice’

You Live What You Tolerate

March 23rd, 2015

We nag, whine and wish for other things, circumstances, and behaviors from our surroundings assuming most of the times that it is the centers of evil somewhere in the galaxy that have conspired to make our lives harder than they should be.

I’ll share a few examples from here and there.

I hear many talk about how their kids are gaming freaks with no social skills. Watch the parents closely, they are on their phones almost all the time, even when those kids are telling them a story or asking them a question. I hear parents nag, helplessly, about how their kids watch too much TV. Watch them closely, you see the same parents using “go watch TV” as a replacement for “I am not in the mood for your questions, your comments, or your noise, go watch TV and give me a break.” A break frequent enough to build the behavior at the other end. These parents are lamenting the same behaviors they are creating. This may be unconscious. However, conscious or not, makes no difference towards end results. You live what you tolerate.

In our countries, people blame the system for corruption and sectarianism, they blame the government for many miseries, and the councils for ineffectiveness. Watch closely, they also bribe, refuse mixed marriages, and vote again for the same councils that put the same governments in place. You live what you tolerate.

“My team does not feel any urgency”, leaders say. “One or two of them, my stars, would do things as if results were theirs. The rest are nine-to-fivers who don’t care but to line up in front of the fingerprint machine minutes before it is time to leave.” That is true on the description side. Look deeper, you see that those running the extra mile are getting burnt by the incremental stress, while the rest are taught that it is ok to be as they are because these same leaders allow them to by burning the lives of a few instead of building a culture of ownership and “we do what it takes.” You live what you tolerate.

Examples are too many from personal, to health, to lifestyle, to family and relationships, to political and social, to leadership, and organizational culture.

If it is lemons you are getting from life, watch closely, and you will, to your surprise maybe, find your DNA all over the seeds. People learn from what you do, not what you say. Stop whining and look for what your actions, whether you’re aware of their repercussions or not, are getting you to, and change. You are not a victim here, you own it.

I live what I tolerate, you live what you tolerate, we live what we tolerate. From ourselves, that is, as much as it is from others.

Who am I being so that I am getting these results? The answer to this question is what you owe yourself.

Dear reader, thank you for joining the conversation, please click the “like” button and “share” this blog post to make sure others see it too; and remember to “register” your email at not to miss any blog post and to make sure you get notified on time.


“trace – training and coaching executives

Post to Twitter Tweet This Post

  • Share/Bookmark